


Is that a euphemism?

by malekin



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 16:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1906707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malekin/pseuds/malekin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short Olicity one-shot, Oliver is having issues with his pants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is that a euphemism?

It had been good night, long, but still good. No big bad had surfaced in the weeks after bringing down Slade so they’d been able to concentrate on rebuilding Starling and keeping the everyday bad guys off the streets.

It was nice, a vacation almost. Definitely not Felicity’s dream vacation, no that involved far less dirty street thugs and far more drinks with little umbrellas and hot pool boys. A vigilante vacation.

"Huh, that’d be great name for a band." Felicity murmured as she dropped her keys into their bowl on the counter and made her way to the couch, toeing off her shoes before sinking into the cushions. 

"You definitely earned first shower tonight Oliver." she called out to the still hooded figure locking the door. "I’m just going to catch up on some of my shows."

Oliver grunted in response and made a beeline for the shower in her bedroom. Felicity didn’t blame him, it may have been a good night as she’d mused earlier, but as she’d also pointed out, dirty street thugs. Emphasis on the dirty. 

Figuring she should have a good while before he finished, Felicity pulled out her laptop.

"And by shows, I mean fanfiction."

         ————————————————————————————————

Felicity was just getting into the idea that Cas’ touch brought the swirl of chaos that raged through Dean’s blood to a standstill, never mind that touch happened to be focused just above the aforementioned demon’s belt buckle, when a door opening startled her. She quickly closed her laptop and turned around to face a confused Oliver.

"What are you doing?" 

"Holy Hell." she stammered in response.

"What?" Oliver shook his head.

"Uh, nothing," she took in his general lack of shirt, and clean, "What are you doing? I thought you were getting in the shower."

"Yeah, about that." Oliver rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, refusing to meet her eyes, "I seem to have run into a little snag."

"A snag?" Felicity smirked, "What snag could you possibly run into in pursuit of a shower. Seems really cut and dry, or well, wet."

"Felicity."

"Sorry, sorry." she apologized still smiling, "What’s the problem?"

"Can you come in here?" he pleaded, "I need some help."

"You need help. In the shower." Felicity repeated bewildered,"Is that a euphemism?"

"What? No. I just need you to come in here please."

"Okay, okay, sorry." Felicity threw up her hands in mock surrender before making her way into her darkened bedroom. "What do you need help with, and why do I feel like I’ll regret I asked."

"I, well, I kindofneedyoutohelpmegetmypantsoff." the words rushed through tightly clenched teeth.

"Wait, what was that? Care to slow down there buddy, I only understand English here."

Oliver sighed.

"Can you please, help me get my pants off." he’d managed to unclench his jaw but his eyes were staying firmly planted on the ceiling. Giving Felicity ample time to study the bare chest in front of her, following the midline to just above his waistband. A place she would gladly let her touch calm his demons.

"Stupid fanfiction." she muttered.

"Again, what are you talking about?" Oliver ground out.

"One day, all that jaw clenching of yours is going to break your teeth." 

Oliver sighed again.

"Okay, so wait, you want me to help get you off- I mean, oh god, your pants off."

"Yes. Please."

"Is there a reason, I mean did you suddenly forget how…"

"What, Felicity, no, I got them on, but now they’re a little tight."

"You know, I had a friend who had a thing for leather pants, her secret? Talcum powder. Stops these kinds of things from happening."

"That’s great, really helpful for now."

"Jeez, grumpy cat, I’m just saying, for future."

"Felicity, please. This hasn’t been a problem before, just help me so I can get a shower and work on blocking this entire scene from my mind."

Felicity shook her head.

"College, for computer science, all those late nights, for this, helping an overgrown vigilante out of his too tight leather pants." she resigned herself with a groan.

"Did you just call me fat?"

"No," she snorted, "I called you overgrown, which you are, in a muscle-y sense. You certainly didn’t skip leg day, like ever. Have you considered you may just need bigger pants?"

"Felicity."

"Right, on it boss." she stepped forward before hesitating, "Wait, you’re not-well, you’re not commando in those are you. Cause I’m not sure that’s something I’m comfortable with."

"Oh god give me the damned island." Oliver massaged his temples, "No, I am not ‘commando’ Felicity."

"Well, I had to ask, I mean have you noticed how tight those are on you?"

Oliver raised his eyebrow.

"I hadn’t realized."

"Right, off course you have, which is why we’re having this conversation. But seriously, had to ask, cause I’m not even sure how you fit you in those pants tonight, let alone boxers. Boxer briefs? Don’t tell me, tighty whities." 

Her smile had the desired effect, Oliver returned it gratefully.

"Alright, mission status, go." Felicity crouched down to figure out the best way to open the damned things, her movement, a little over enthusiastic, nearly sent her sprawling. Out of reflex her hands shot out to the first solid thing she could find purchase, which just happened to be a pair of leather clad thighs.

Blushing, she soldiered on, content that as bad as groping Oliver’s thighs may be, headbutting him in the crotch had to rank higher on the mortification scale.

She’d just approach this like any other problem, systematically and logically. Easy.

Using Oliver’s hips as leverage, Felicity pulled herself back up. She realized just how close she was to him when he groaned.

"Oh, sorry." she apologized, his head still tilted resolutely away from her nodded jerkily.

Opening the pants was easy enough, but after that they wouldn’t budge. Hoping that maybe it was just a sweat and heat clinging to skin kind of issue she tried sliding her hands into them at his hips. Maybe she could break that seal, stretch them out a bit. 

She could ignore the fact that she was literally trying to get into Oliver’s pants, that could be perused at a later time. Preferably in the shower.

It was a tight fit, Felicity snorted,”That’s what he said.”

Oliver shook his head, focusing on any detail he could find in the opposite wall, anything to keep the feeling of her small fingers working their way under the leather far from his conscious thought.

He jerked slightly as her index swept across a particularly sensitive spot on his left hip.

"Are you ticklish?" he heard the laughter in her voice.

"Could we maybe revisit that later. When I’m not standing here with your hands in my pants?"

"Oh believe me, we will definitely be coming back to that hypothesis Mr. Queen."

Felicity would forgive the powers that be her lack of a filter if they balanced it with a ticklish Hood.

Oliver closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath as her hands massaged their way down his hips, only to suck it back in roughly when those same hands changed course heading towards the back. Felicity was intent on her task, and didn’t notice how far in she’d stepped while she was essentially playing grab ass with Oliver.

Not until she felt him against her stomach. Looking up she found Oliver’s eyes had finally left the wall and were now staring down at her before his own hands reached back to still hers.

"Felicity." His voice was soft and gruff at the same time.

"Yeah." she squeaked back.

"Maybe we should try to take them off now, I think you’ve loosened them enough."

"Right, okay, so maybe you should lie down on the bed."

Oliver looked startled at her words.

"Old girl trick, it works for getting into tight pants anyway, may make it easier to get out of them."

Oliver nodded before stepping back to the foot of her bed and lying down. Channeling the onslaught of images a shirtless, barefoot, pants undone, Oliver on her bed provoked was a little difficult but doable.

"I am so screwed, and not in the good way either." she mumbled to herself quietly.

"Okay, you ready?" 

"I think it’s safe to say I am beyond ready Felicity." 

It was Oliver that blushed for once, something she would’ve happily teased him about mercilessly if she hadn’t suddenly lost the ability to speak.

"I am definitely beyond ready for this to be over and to get in the shower." he clarified.

Felicity climbed onto the bed and attempted to get hold of his waistband and start pulling. She quickly realized the only position that would work involved straddling his legs and rejected that notion, standing and moving to his feet instead.

"Why don’t I try pulling from here."

"I think that would be best." Oliver sounded relieved.

"Okay, on 3. 1, 2, 3." Felicity tugged and was momentarily amazed at the strength she’d managed to pull off when the wretched pants came loose and sent her crashing into the opposite wall.

Oliver was up in a flash and cradling her head. 

"Are you okay?" he asked her as he surveyed for injuries.

Felicity started shaking.

"Are you hurt?!"

His relief was palpable when her silent laughter took audible form. Tears were streaming down her face as she took in their reflected positions in the mirror on the bathroom door.

"You..and I…and then…" it was useless, no words could be properly formed when she could scarcely catch her breath for laughing.

Slowly she calmed down, only letting loose the occasional giggle whenever she’d meet Oliver’s eyes.

"Could you imagine if Dig had seen that, or, oh god, what if I hadn’t been here and HE had to help you." 

And, she was off again. This time Oliver joined her.

         ————————————————————————————————

They were both recovered from their ordeal and Oliver was getting ready to try the whole showering thing again when a knock on Felicity’s bedroom door made them both jump.

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt but there’s something going down, requires the attention of the Hood."

"Diggle!" Felicity whispered in shock.

Oliver, already in the bathroom, recovered before her.

"Sounds good Dig, I’ll be right out." he sighed poking his head out and giving Felicity an apologetic look.

"Do you think you could help me get those on…"

Felicity took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she stalked towards the horrid things. Envisioning all the wonderful ways she could destroy them.

Out in the living room Diggle had helped himself to a cup of coffee. He felt bad for having to come out so late, and he decided he wasn’t going to question what he’d interrupted. Just glad he’d walked in on side splitting laughter instead of sorrow for once. He’d been a bodyguard long enough to know when something didn’t need to be noticed. Had trained himself to not see or hear by focusing on exit strategies and fall back plans instead.

Of course, that was before he’d met Felicity.

"Jesus, Oliver!" her voice rang out in the still night, "It’s like trying to stuff a sausage into it’s casing!"

Diggle sprayed what coffee he hadn’t choked on across the counter. Grabbing his keys he decided that maybe the car was a safer place to wait.


End file.
